1 John 4:19

Given the length of time since my last "penultimate" entry, topics to write about come easily. Too easily. Yet, with so much having happened this past year and with so much to say, I have actually found it difficult to begin any composition. I've had butterflies in my mind, but no net. Untili tonight.


I have a confession to make. I've fallen in love. Now, I know what you're probably saying: "Gerb, you've told us that you don't 'fall' in love as you would an accident-- you decide to love." True. But, I realize that the decision to love sometimes just happens. You're hangin' out in a group one day and then, somewhere down the line, you realize that you love them. You don't know when and where you decided to love them. You just do.















Maybe it was because they made love easy. Maybe it was because they would stay up until 2am just to talk. Maybe it was because they would drive 384 miles to see you. Maybe it was because they know things about you that you haven't even told your mother. Maybe it was because they loved first.

Perhaps they challenged you, tested your resolve in some way-- perhaps by asking you what you believed and why you believed it. Possibly they saw an inconsistency in your behavior or a potential in you to be someone more-- and called you out on it.

















Who knows. Maybe it was because God has had His hand on you all along....

After all, He knows how much they have been merciful to you. And He knows the sacrifices they've made: how they know that you pick your nose, chew your fingernails, obsess about your image, and fail miserably to clean your bathroom tub—and how they love you anyway-- and sometimes would even clean that bathroom tub when you cannot. In fact, He knows how they love you precisely for those things, how they would take you up on their shoulders and carry you to Him if need be—even if you resisted.




















Certainly, they took a chance on you. They knew that you could hurt them at any time. And you have—we all have; with our silly little egos (or huge egos), our selfishness, our impatience, our lies, our insincerity, our faithlessness, and our hardness of heart.

But they come back. And you come back. And you forgive. And they forgive. And somehow you realize that you have grown because of them. Maybe you start treating your family with love because of their example, maybe you start conquering your selfishness, maybe you start realizing your potential as a person, maybe you simply steal their lines or their laugh.
















But, maybe—just maybe—they have brought you to Christ. And maybe—just maybe--you have brought them as well. And suddenly the verse in John’s first letter rings true: we love, because God loved us first. And you realize that maybe it wasn’t just them that you have fallen love with, but Christ. And maybe it wasn’t merely your friends who were loving you—but Christ himself.

Indeed, "no greater love has man than this, to lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).




Thank you, Ray and Jennifer and Christine. You have been instrumental in my vocation. And, most generously, you have led me to Christ. May I (should He will it one day) bring Him to you—Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity.