This is Under Construction

I was walking home from the Vatican the other day and I took this picture....

Something about the scaffolding and the cars passing by, with their lights reflecting off the metallic structure-- something about all of that struck me for a moment. And I found it beautiful.

I say this because the past week, and continuing through today, I have been in such a desert, spiritually. It's as though God has turned the knob on his Super-Abundant Grace spigot to the off position. A few residual drops fall upon me, but I thirst so badly.

I'm not saying that this is a bad thing; for, it's not. In this past week, I've become more attuned to a few things. First, for example, the picture above. I walk past this scaffolding nearly every other day. On this day, it looked beautiful. At Mass-- for another example-- I have become very noticing of the movements and the solemnity of the celebration and sacrifice. In being unable to speak the language (and since most Masses are in Italian), I feel like an outsider looking in-- but yet, I'm still an insider, because I get to receive Christ.

Val made a good point tonight: maybe God's love is being poured out so superabundantly, but I do not perceive it-- as opposed to when I perceived it so clearly while in Assisi. Maybe this is a time of refinement, a time of dying to my pride and my problems with trust. He's continuing to pour out his love, but at the same time he is calling me on to be created anew-- and the only way to do that is to die to myself: my pride, my selfishness, my lack of trust.

"Remember what I did for you in Assisi" he says to me. "Trust now, that even though you don't perceive it, I am doing something amazing! Behold, I make something new!"


It's funny that I should find a picture of a construction site beautiful at this moment and post it with an entry on something being created anew.

(Maybe He isn't being so subtle....)

This is The Past Lessons Learned and In Action

Ok, since I'm never doubting again, and since I've felt myself so moved to go to Austria these past couple days, and since God has just provided me free housing and (possibly) free food for the duration of my stay in Austria, I'm gonna stop being stupid now and go to Austria.

And, quite possibly, Poland.

I may be back Saturday. I may be back next Tuesday....


All I know is, is that God is leading me through the desert and I'm just gonna have to trust.

So...... yeah, I'll see ya all when I see ya! (hahahaha, oh my gosh!)